I’ll be 25 somewhere next month. A quarter century charley. I’m no longer that young but I’m not that old either. 24 has been crazy. I learned many important lessons while I was this age. Now that I am going firmly into my mid 20s it’s only right I spill some wisdom.
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
When it comes to love and relationships, do not assume you are always blameless. When you are constantly complaining and not communicating because you put yourself on the moral high ground, you miss the most important things. Even worse you end up doing the things you are complaining about. Not every day talk, sometimes just listen and observe. You are not infallible.
Do not make your partner doubt you over anything. Even if you don’t see the harm in it, you may affect your partner’s psyche and set a negative tone to your relationships. No relationship is perfect, not even the one with religious overtones. It comes down to what is good for both of you.
When dealing with strangers trade information. Don’t leave it as one sided street because even though you might be interested in a friendship, silence communicates hostility when getting to know someone. A conversation that turns into an interrogation or a monologue is an indicator the person doesn’t care about getting to know you.
Your feelings don’t count so much. It’s your thoughts that do. If you always act on your emotions when dealing with people you will almost always be disappointed. The trick is to let your thoughts and emotions balance each other out. Observation is critical to the thought process. There is nothing like the right fit. You always have to shoehorn to fit perfectly with someone else but if you keep doing that so much especially when the other party’s actions do not fit or deserve your feelings towards them then check your thoughts.
Finally always always be yourself. Like-minded people almost always gravitate towards each other. If your friends start drifting away it may not always be your fault. They might be facing a paradigm shift in their outlook towards life. Don’t be pushed to be who you are not. You are not meant to be friends with everyone or be a relationship mechanic. For communication to be effective there always has to be a sender and a receiver.
WORK & DREAMS
Don’t work with friends. Chances are they will always undermine your work ethics and sabotage you at every turn. Business doesn’t require sentimentality. When you are working with friends and they refuse to pay you or underpay you for your services which wasn’t in your agreement, cut them off. They will only stifle your growth.
Start working on your dreams in the darkness and wait for them to start bearing fruit before discussing with friends or family you trust. Let them be concrete and watertight so you know how to present and defend your idea in front of an imaginary panel of critics. Read more into what you want to do and prepare a business plan so it doesn’t just stay in your head. It is alive and can come to life at any moment.
Develop a serious approach to work. If you cannot work for someone wholeheartedly, you will not be wholeheartedly involved in your own endeavors. For all the wannabe entrepreneurs out there I say this, embrace the 9-5 life. There is nothing wrong with having a day job while building up your dream career. Jobs are not supposed to be sentimental. While it would be toxic to work for a bad boss it also builds up your character in handling people like that you might come across while building your career. Do not quit so easily unless it has serious repercussions on your wellbeing. Starting your own thing is always hard and if you do not have a steady flow of capital to hold you up you will go bust. No one invests in dreams, they invest in seeds. If you have no trust fund to set you up charley you have to work for a pay slip.
You are growing up. It is only natural your family starts addressing you as an adult rather than an overgrown child. Cash flow will become limited and you are expected to help take care of miscellaneous bills in the house. It is only fair you contribute to the upkeep of the house. However that is the exception and not the rule. If you suddenly become a breadwinner find out what is going on. Things may not be as they seem. You are required to take care of your family in your own small way. Family is everything and you best learn when contributing actively to yours by taking some of the responsibilities as your own.
In social circles it is normal to aspire to positions of responsibilities. Whether it is in your religious group or school or class year group or even being in charge of something at work, responsibilities shape you up more to be a better person and a positive role model. You do not always have to be a natural leader to take up a position. Leadership is learned.
The best part of responsibilities are you are not alone. You get to ask older and more experienced people questions to make you understand your role better.
FAITH & RELIGION
This is a path I try to tread carefully because to be honest it goes against my nature. I refuse to submit and wholly believe something I can’t grasp in totality. My faith is fundamental at best and always subject to intense scrutiny. I am Christian and I believe in Jesus Christ. It is enough for me. Everything else is relative to how I treat others. The most important commandment in Christianity is loving your neighbor as yourself. In today’s world so many youth are concerned with spiritual breakthrough that they forget the basic tenets their faith is built on. Understand your your faith. Anything that does not allow you to use your God-given gifts to better yourself and other people is morally wrong. The issue of morality lies in a more psychological plane and my philosophies about spirituality drive me to a similar conclusion. It is however good to have faith and support it with work however. “14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. (James 14-17, NKJV)”
Be tolerant of other people’s views on religion even if you don’t agree. Not everyone was raised the same way you were. You can’t win someone over by coerced arguments and intolerance. Hitler and IS and all the terrorist groups are proof of that. Show not tell. The best way you can bring someone to faith is by living according to it not just talking about it.
You are the most important person in the world. You are the only one who absolutely takes care of yourself. No one will be 100% down for you. It is a rat race and ultimately you are responsible for yourself and actions. Love yourself. Understand why you do the things you do. Challenge everything. Try new things. Make mistakes. Be yourself. Appreciate your life because you will never know when you will die.
I am done. 25 promises to be great. Quarter century here I come. Oh one more thing. Don’t be in a hurry to grow up. I leave you with this.
“Rejoice, O young man, in your youth,
And let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth;
Walk in the ways of your heart,
And in the sight of your eyes;
But know that for all these
God will bring you into judgment. “ (Ecclesiastes 11:9, NKJV)