Excerpt From “Chop Bar Date”

At the doorway I bumped into a familiar mass of music. As the familiar tenor voice intoned “Massa you no know your left from your right?” I exclaimed. “Kojo!” he grinned. (I assumed he did. The house was so dark compared to the flickering lights outside.”) “Kpako!” he replied. “Whassup?” “Abi you know. We just de pass through.” I nodded to him and greeted his companion Baabsy (Corrupted from Baaba.) she smiled and I invited her to dance with me. Again I thank the good Lord for briefs. Some skinny girls just do not feel skinny.
The party went on and on and I kept dancing, with girls I didn’t know and girls I knew. I made my way towards the drinks table for a shot of Irish Cream (my last intake for the night because my vision was beginning to swim.) cup in hand I weaved through to the boys where they were doing their own thing. Presently a photo-shoot was taking place and I joined the fray. I then did my version of the “alkayida”. (I suck at dancing. Really.) Among the laughter and loud music and steam (my glasses kept misting over.) I turned around and coming through the gate was her. Her being a mystery lady in a mask. 5”8, honeyed skin, a mass of curly hair on her shoulders and a black leather outfit reminiscent of catwoman. Fast forward to the scarlet lipstick and my alcohol damped senses knew I had to do something. She came with her gang. (Why do fine girls always move in packs? I mean why?) I waited for my chance, staying within the crowd but keep tabs on her. Every other guy was on high alert and in hunting mode. They kept going and kept getting bounced. I am not exactly the boldest guy on the planet, but when the alcohol hits my bloodstream no girl is safe. On this I sidled up to her and whispered in her ear. “Before you bounce me, just know I’ve been keeping tabs on you since you arrived.” She chuckled. “Funny guy.” “I know right? May be I’ve had a little too much to drink.” I replied. She laughed again, in a voice a tad rich. “So.” I continued. “How many cows do I have to kill before getting a dance with you?” her eyes glittered and she smiled. “None.”

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