This Beautiful Boy continued

As I crash and burn through life

Sometimes imploding in a single moment of strife

A failure in an otherwise successful mission

Challenger

On the brink of a jubilee silver

Lining in the clouds I don’t often see.

I know one thing,

I’m alive.

 

I’m probably not your average Joe,

Although I admit I’m very unremarkable,

Maybe I have a foe,

But then

I have icky yucky moments like eating fish roe,

Pretty boy

Skinny lad only vaguely interested in the ideal body

Rock solid abs and pecs so massive they might have been carved out of granite.

For what?
Phasing through what I need vs what my parents want but who cares?

I’m just a big baby.

 

Ecclesiastical,

Esoteric

In a constantly distracted state of mind

Lost in the lovemaking of intellect and emotion and carnal desire

A ménage a trois decried by the religion of spirituality

Living in a myopic society full of people suffering from mental hypermetropia,

Overseen by the few who have made it

Astigmatic towards those climbing the ladder right behind them

Flailing for the top rung in the darkness of self-determination,

Such cruelty

I’m in constant rumination.

 

Today it’s all big words,

Life,

The first

The beginning

The last

The only frontier anyone actually ever knows about

A race where no one ever comes first.

I guess I have to keep running till my lungs burst

Pop goes the weasel!

I know nothing

But I know everything

 

See

Truth is

Nothing is perfect

You will break the heart of the one who loves you

Not because you don’t care

Well…

Maybe not nearly enough.

Friends will come and go through you

Changing rooms

And the ones who stay turn out like your favourite underwear

Well-worn and torn and ready to be tossed into the trash because they have been used just a little too much.

 

Responsibility

An adult pretty much still a child but without the psychotic nature of adolescence

Gripped with the dengue

Fever of making something of yourself

Silver spoon or not

I am eternally weighed down by things not yet realized

In a virtual reality where dreams are real

And I am

Somnambulating through the untethering of my aspirations from the well weeded path my forebears set down for me.

 

This beautiful boy is

Simply walking through this life

May be this is a reminder

That

You cannot grasp life

It is meaningless to hold on.

Let go.

I have done what I can

In this life

I loved and hated and sinned and was forgiven

And by grace I am saved,

Still  I am here

Till

I am not.

 

© Sena Frost 2k16

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Obscura


Take a minute and reflect,
Rays of light refracted,
Diffused evenly over a surface,
White.
Observe a minute of noise,
Sixty seconds of chaotic orderliness,
A backwash of perfect sense.
Sound.

What if the lie was hidden in the light?
Blanketed,
What if all we can see is darkness,
And the purity of the children of the night.

Shade of white,
Tint of black,
Not a hue or value,
Gray.

What do you really stand for?
Why does light cast shadows,
Who are you?
And what if truth is lie?

© Sena Kodjokuma 2015