Undefined

Today marks my 26th year on this earth. The winds blow and buffet me but I refuse to be defined by them. This is to the fullest life I have lived yet. Thank you for being with me every step of the way.

Bottom feeder.

Pariah.

Outcast.

Always the labels you try to put on me

Labels that never stick

I am

Flame dancing in the wind

Daring the rain to put me out

I

Refuse to be put in boxes and stashed away

I demand to be heard

Despite your attempts to mute me

I am blessed with faculties of wit

But I remain idiosyncratically anecdotal

I am the hoarfrost during a Russian winter

Kissing your windows and biting your limbs

Invisible

Intangible

Yet uprooting every warm blooded attempt to staple me down

I transcend the limits placed on me

Because

I am

Jack of trades

Polyhistor

Unmoved by circumstance

Grounded in concrete resolve and unyielding faith

Try as you can

But you can never make me inferior

I may be

A bottom feeder.

Pariah.

Outcast.

According to you that is

Always the labels you try to put me

But they will keep peeling off

I remain unaffected to your studies

Religiously aloof.

Until you stop burning the bridges to understand and cohabit

You will remain stymied by the many faced god in your attempts to corral me

And forever I remain

Undefined

© Sena Frost ’17

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Careful, Son

This is inspired by some early morning banter by friends. I tried to keep it real. Fugly Mofos, thanks!

Careful son
Don’t come at me like you mad at yo daddy
I am yo pappy
Come here son
Smoke some poppy
Lemme tell you something son
The world holds no favours
Come see conquer
Get yo own chocolate factory Willy Wonka
Give it away cos life ain’t about riches
Don’t give it away
Stay away from them bitches
Careful son
If you lay with dogs you rise with fleas
Scrub yo self and wear some fleece
A hater see you he flees
Scared of yo shadow
They freeze
Envy begets lust
Lust gonna dig you a grave like vengeance
Leave it to the Lord
No occult séance
Rest in knowledge like science
Just keep yo head down son
You don’t need nobody
Either they support or you rise alone
Yo friends ain’t yo friends if they can’t be real
Bring you in like fish on a reel
When you going wrong
If they only witchu when you get yo money
Then you need new friends
Fuck day 1
If they don’t help yo one day
Drop them on the wrong side of the one way
Get high like steam
Pushing that locomotive
They see you they go choo choo
You ain’t stopping
Cos the night train rides for the right brain
Careful son
Don’t look down on yo self
Just remember
You ain’t no god
All men must die
Valar Morghulis
Build yo castle
Raise the portcullis
Be modern
Work medieval
That means long tables and laughter throughout the night
Don’t do little and talk more
Be a giver
Ready to take somebody outta fright
Don’t do it for fame
Not riches
Do it cos it right and you loves what  you do
Not for bants or nothing else
People gonna come for you
Yes men
Oliver Twist
Vampires
Leeches that wanna drink yo blood
Let them taste nothing but yo success
When they come to you
Let them talk about how you opened their minds not their breeches
Sealed the breaches
Showed them love not bitches
I love you son
I always gotchu
Stay strong
Stay bold
And when yo can’t go on no more?
Sink on your knees and pray
Rise like the sun
Be good
Be God
Be careful son

© sena frost ‘17
Father & son
Image courtesy google images

This Beautiful Boy continued

As I crash and burn through life

Sometimes imploding in a single moment of strife

A failure in an otherwise successful mission

Challenger

On the brink of a jubilee silver

Lining in the clouds I don’t often see.

I know one thing,

I’m alive.

 

I’m probably not your average Joe,

Although I admit I’m very unremarkable,

Maybe I have a foe,

But then

I have icky yucky moments like eating fish roe,

Pretty boy

Skinny lad only vaguely interested in the ideal body

Rock solid abs and pecs so massive they might have been carved out of granite.

For what?
Phasing through what I need vs what my parents want but who cares?

I’m just a big baby.

 

Ecclesiastical,

Esoteric

In a constantly distracted state of mind

Lost in the lovemaking of intellect and emotion and carnal desire

A ménage a trois decried by the religion of spirituality

Living in a myopic society full of people suffering from mental hypermetropia,

Overseen by the few who have made it

Astigmatic towards those climbing the ladder right behind them

Flailing for the top rung in the darkness of self-determination,

Such cruelty

I’m in constant rumination.

 

Today it’s all big words,

Life,

The first

The beginning

The last

The only frontier anyone actually ever knows about

A race where no one ever comes first.

I guess I have to keep running till my lungs burst

Pop goes the weasel!

I know nothing

But I know everything

 

See

Truth is

Nothing is perfect

You will break the heart of the one who loves you

Not because you don’t care

Well…

Maybe not nearly enough.

Friends will come and go through you

Changing rooms

And the ones who stay turn out like your favourite underwear

Well-worn and torn and ready to be tossed into the trash because they have been used just a little too much.

 

Responsibility

An adult pretty much still a child but without the psychotic nature of adolescence

Gripped with the dengue

Fever of making something of yourself

Silver spoon or not

I am eternally weighed down by things not yet realized

In a virtual reality where dreams are real

And I am

Somnambulating through the untethering of my aspirations from the well weeded path my forebears set down for me.

 

This beautiful boy is

Simply walking through this life

May be this is a reminder

That

You cannot grasp life

It is meaningless to hold on.

Let go.

I have done what I can

In this life

I loved and hated and sinned and was forgiven

And by grace I am saved,

Still  I am here

Till

I am not.

 

© Sena Frost 2k16

 

 

 

 

Don’t Waste My Time (the creed)

So I was inspired by Krept & Konan’s Don’t Waste My Time. Truely I’m adopting that phrase as my motto for the year. Don’t waste your time on unimportant things. Please enjoy.

Photo credit: Google images

I

Brothers at arms

We grew up on farms

Cultivating the seeds of intellect.

Fragile and uncommon,

Sold to the few select.

Trust me

We have our elect

So don’t waste our time.

II

Brother

If you value the cash over your friend

Then don’t waste my time

If you’re gonna do disappearing acts and tell capricious fibs

Fam, don’t waste my time

Just go

II

Sister

If he love you he better show he love you

Don’t let him waste your time

You a queen

Your subjects are falling over their heads for you

Tell’im

Don’t waste my time.

IV

Kid

If they tell you to blow trees

Flip walls and mesh into the crowd

Tell’em

Don’t waste my time.

If it ain’t pushing you high on the ladder of success

Then don’t waste your time.

If they tell you of God,

But live like gods,

Then don’t waste your time

They gon’ send you straight to hell.

Fading_Time

V

If you in the zone

Dirtying your hands and belittling yourself

Imma slap you good!

Don’t let her waste your time

Plenty fish dey in the sea

If you no like kpala

Red fish dey

So bruh

Don’t waste your time.

VI

If they think they the best

And the white man brought nothing but grief

Don’t waste your time

You know the funny thing?

They are dissing them with their own tech

Waste of time

Right?

VII

Tell’em!

Don’t waste my time.

(Yeah)

Tell’em!

Don’t waste my time.

(For real)

Tell’em!

Don’t waste my time.

(Kaboom)

Tell’em!

Don’t waste my time.

(Yeah)

Tell’em!

Don’t waste my time.

(Dassor)

VII
if you think I’m wasting your time

Don’t bother reading this.

If you think you too good for the world,

Don’t waste your time

Just off yourself.

All you got is time

And it’s running out faster than Bolt

Out of the blue.

So don’t waste my time.

Time really no dey.

download

© Sena Frost 2k16

Tips on how to be free (as defined by myself)

Follow the rules. As much as you may resent structured norms, they actually give you a lot of freedom especially when they have loopholes.
Bite back your anger. Looking furious is never cool. You never want to come across as a monster because of a disturbing issue.
Place value in the simplest things. I find that cartoons, photographs and pets calm me down often. I laugh raucously and goof around at the risk of looking like a fool. It works the same for pretty much everyone.
Be emotional when you need to be. It is senseless bottling up emotion. All it does is turn you into a worse person. When you are happy be happy, when you are sad be under the weather. It is a natural tonic for wellbeing.
When a loved one lets you go, hold on until it is no longer your cause. By eliminating all doubt about your inability to maintain a relationship through a hard time you give yourself a clean conscience.
The only person who truly cares about you is you. You do not live for other people you live for yourself only. Relying on other people to make you move ahead turns you into a liability.
You are God. As extensions of His divine Self, you are already full of grace. On the flipside, it means you are in full control of your life and choices. You are not a mindless being. You are steward of the earth act like it!
Laugh when you are angry especially with yourself. Laughing at yourself softens the potential blow anybody would actually land on you. By admitting you are angry over an issue and not fussing about it diffuses the emotion.
Do not be controlled by what you feel. While you should feel every emotion, it does not mean you should kow-tow to it. Only little brats and spoilt animals allow emotion to take over. Be sensible about how you feel.
Be cordial and polite, even when the other party does not deserve it. Nothing rankles an antagonist worse than a polite opponent. When you are cordial and polite, it gives people who do not like you less reason not to.
Be yourself. Be the first of your kind always not the next whoever-was-there-first. Allowing your uniqueness broadcast to the people around you makes people like you for who you are flaws or not.
Be aware of your environment. Wherever you go be in touch with everything, you can recall. It allows you to be comfortable in any terrain.
Be versatile. More often than not people who refuse to adapt themselves to a new situation are left out in the cold. The great rule of survival kills those who cannot change. Why be caught out?
Do not be more of a nuisance than you already are. Do not attempt to endear yourself to those who would have nothing to do with you. Keep to yourself and they will leave you alone.
Do not sink under pressure. You are often the victim of your focus. Phase out, prioritise the things you want to do, get into a rhythm and then get to work. Distract yourself for a bit and wear the coat again.
Do not let your circumstances define you. As much as it is terrible to survive a conflagration, rise above it. It is the past not your trump card. The kindest people are the ones who have known suffering and yet choose to smile.
You are not the star of the show. You are just one of seven billion humans on this earth. Do not act as if you are the survivor of a worldwide holocaust. Blend in and do your part. That is what makes you stand out.
Be upfront and legitimate. Doing the right thing is always the best thing. Independent of how you feel, stick to your guts when they differ from what you see. It takes patience to pan gold from a riverbed of sand.

You are only free as long as you are bound by the rules that define you. The eagle flies because it has to reach land. The unshackled destroys. Let the unstable elements remind you of that.