all the things people do in cars aside from driving them

Paradise is oft lost by minds too curious to fully ponder Innocence in its meekness.

1

Sunday school had just ended. It was almost time for communion during mass. The children who have taken First Communion were inside the church. Me I have not taken first communion because I am nine years old and Catechist said you can only take first communion when you are ten and you have done catechism classes. My father said I should wait. When I grow then I will do catechism classes. Emenyo Kusorgbor pinched me and said we should go to his house because Shifo has started. We started running and I reach his house before him. Emenyo cannot run at all.

There were plenty people standing in one logologo line at the door so I made myself like gogomi and I passed inside to come out. Catechist did not see us because we are plenty. We started running to the back gate. Shabobo the watch man does not close the back gate because he does not come to work on Sunday. Catechist said children have been passing there after Sunday school so he should close it but Shabobo says that if he closes it, the people whose houses are outside the church will come and insult him so he will not close it.

Emenyo lives at the Railway Line houses outside the church. We go and watch Shifo saa and when it is twelve o’clock I have to go to my house or my father will shout at me. He does not use cane but I don’t want him to shout at me.

2

Emenyo Kusorgbor is my best friend. He has been my best friend since class three. That story is funny papa. He came to pull Deborah Sekyi-Mensah, my sitting mate’s hairbands out and her pig tails had removed. I was sleeping and her crying was making noise so I woke up. I asked her why she was crying and she said Emenyo Kusorgbor has remove all her hairbands and if she goes home her mother will beat her. I walked to his desk and he was playing with Darlington Asafo Agyei and Manasseh Quaye. I tapped his shoulder and threw blow to his face. He fell down and he was crying. I collected the hairbands from him and told him that if he removes Deborah Sekyi-Mensah’s hairbands again, I will beat him again.

That evening Auntie Beauty, his mother, came to our house. She was so scary with her headscarf tied round her head and her wrapper round her waist. Everybody knew Auntie Beauty could fight and was always beating Efo Yellow-Yellow, Emenyo’s father. I was playing outside, but as soon as I saw Auntie Beauty shouting, I ran away inside. They say that when Auntie Beauty is coming to fight with you, she will be chanting in Ewe to take all your strength away from you so that when you fight, she will win easily. Emenyo was following her and was smiling. Today his mother will beat me.

My father was in the house. Everybody calls him doctor but he does not work in a hospital. He does not give injection too. It is good for me because I don’t like injection. Auntie Beauty was shouting plenty outside so he went and opened the door. She said she came to beat me because I beat her son so I should come outside so she can beat me. My father said he will not let me come out. She brought three canes from her back. I was standing in the sitting room so I could see outside. She saw me and showed the canes to me. Emenyo was laughing. Auntie Beauty said now she will enter the house because my father said if she does not come inside, he will call police to come and catch her. Nobody wants police to come and catch them.

When they came to sit inside the sitting room, I went and stood behind my father because I was afraid. Auntie Beauty told Emenyo to say why there was pɔmpɔ on his face. He said that he was not doing anything. He was playing with Darlington Asafo Agyei and Manasseh Quaye and I came to throw blow on his face that is why there is pɔmpɔ on his face.

My father told me to come and stand in front of them. He said he cannot believe that his child who is always first in class can fight with their class mate. He told Auntie Beauty she can beat me but she should use only one cane. I started crying and I looked at Emenyo’s face. He was happy papa! Auntie Beauty said I should also talk before she beats me. I told her I was sleeping in the classroom and Emenyo Kusorgbor had come to remove Deborah Sekyi-Mensah’s hairbands so she was crying and making noise that her mother will beat her when she goes to the house. That is why I threw blow to Emenyo and and big pɔmpɔ has come on his face. Auntie Beauty started laughing. She said she will not beat me again because she has been telling Emenyo that he should stop but he will not listen. She said my father should allow Emenyo to come and be doing homework in my house after school so that she can sell small at the market before she comes home. My father said that is okay but I should not be beating people. Only uncivilized people do that.

I was happy papa. It was left with small, like I will wee-wee on myself.

3

Everybody knows Bra Michael in the area. He has big dogs in the house so nobody can enter. One day he said he is doing party for the area people so we should come to the house. My father said I should not go so I didn’t go. Emenyo came to tell me that he went papa. The food was plenty and when he danced, Bra Michael gave him money but his mother collected it that she will give it to him when they go to the house. He wants to use the money to buy knock out.

My face became sad but I did not say anything. Mr. Dzansi, the class four teacher said we should look forward and draw map of Ghana. My father has been letting me draw map of Ghana so I can draw it. I’ve been drawing for Emenyo and Courtney Abusah. Deborah Sekyi-Mensah has gone to abroad so Mr. Dzansi said he will give me a new sitting mate. Emenyo sits behind me so I can turn and talk to him because Mr. Dzansi will not see.

Emenyo was telling me that Bra Michael has plenty film cassettes so if we want to watch film we should come and take. His father has deck so they have watched Delta Force and Commando. I said that we can go and collect some after Saturday classes. I said we should not watch Commando because my father has the cassette and we have watched it saa.

When Saturday came, we went to Bra Michael’s house and said we want film cassette to watch. He laughed and told us to go and remove what we want to watch. Emenyo wanted to take the Commando cassette again. I told him I will throw blow and hit him. I took Destiny and Stab In The Dark. We told Bra Michael thank you.

Emenyo on the TV but it was doing shrew-shrew. He said his father has hide the remote so we should go to my house to watch the film. I said okay and we went to my house.

My father has study in the house. That is where he has been doing research so nobody should come and disturb him. Me too I on the TV and the deck. Then we put the cassette inside. Emenyo said that Odupong said deck is called pia-mɔ-ɔnkɔ and the boys were laughing at him. We watched Destiny finish and we wanted to watch Stab In The Dark.

When the thing started showing, it said that if you are not eighteen years you should not watch the film. Emenyo said we should change it and watch Commando because Auntie Beauty said if she catches him watching eighteen years film, she will beat him papa. I said I don’t want to watch Commando because I have watched it saa. Why do boys like Commando like that? Emenyo said the blowman is a bɔɔlɛman so it is nice.

Stab In The Dark was playing but they have write something that Miss Melons Makes A Car Sale. A man and a woman were standing somewhere and there were plenty cars there. I cannot hear what they were saying so I high the volume. The man and the woman drive saa and they were sitting somewhere. Then the woman started pressing the man’s thing and the man was pressing the woman. I did not know what I was seeing. Emenyo said he has seen this thing before and that the woman will lie on top of the man so that they do the thing. He said the boys have been talking about blue film. He said some of them have been doing Mama and Dada but he is not among. The man and the woman started shouting like the thing is paining them but they are not crying. Something was passing in myself so I got up to wee-wee. Emenyo was sitting there. He said I should sleep on the ground so he will sleep on me like the blue film we are watching. Then he came to mwuah my mouth. I threw him blow. It hit him and he also throw blow but I dodged. My father started shouting that what are we watching and I off the TV. I take the cassette from the deck and said Bra Michael is bad so he should not collect film from him again.

4

I beamed at Emenyo as the confetti rained all around us. Emenyo Kusorgbor had been my best friend since class three. Now we were getting married. I told him he was the Ron Weasley to my Hermione Granger, when he said he was Harry Potter. In his speech he said he couldn’t imagine we were getting married. He said if anyone had told him that the girl who used to beat him in class three will end up being his wife he would have cursed them there and then. Everybody laughed.

Emenyo and his family left the area and nobody knew where they went. I missed my friend but life went on. I remember when we met up again after so long. A taxi driver was trying to cheat me of my change so I slapped him. Then a passenger turned round and mentioned my full government name. I responded by default in response, Emenyo Kusorgbor. He said I had not changed and I was still beating people. I told him that the driver was trying to cheat me because Pent to Diaspora should not be the amount he was mentioning. We have been inseparable since.

I snapped out of my reverie. Auntie Beauty was threatening one of the food vendors. My father was engaged in conversation with his academic colleagues. Emenyo suggested we run down the walkway when we were leaving the reception. I left him in the dust, like always. I wasn’t Interco Super-Zonals hundred metre queen for nothing in my heydays.   

Emenyo had one last surprise waiting for me as we retired to bed, exhausted from the day’s activities. He turned on the TV and loaded a movie.

Miss Melons Makes A Car Sale

© Sena Frost, 2024